Pigeon Holed


This is my response to the Friday Fictioneers prompt for August 15. The challenge is to write a 100-word story inspired by the photo prompt. Play along by writing your own, reading others and/or commenting on the flashes we fictioneers create. My piece this week is just slightly overweight at 111 words. I trust Rochelle’s henchmen will allow me to keep all of my remaining fingers this week, however, since a few of my previous flashes have come in under weight.

2014 08 15

Copyright Jan Wayne Fields

Pigeon Holed

Director Lukke hoped the news would devastate Morales. The agent’s services would now be rendered from behind a desk.

Ever since he and Peters had investigated the case that landed Lauren Schrecklich in Mass General, Morales had been uncontrollable—jetting off to take care of white collar crime on location rather than putting in the usual hours of research.

The director chalked it up to some juvenile infatuation. Still, Morales had managed to get Schrecklich a position with the agency. “Let’s see how he takes to being her handler,” Lukke muttered to himself. The orders came from above, but the director hoped this would give Morales enough rope to hang himself.

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26 thoughts on “Pigeon Holed

  1. dollymarionette says:

    I’ve been watching House of Cards. Sneaky, subtle villainy is often the most effective.

    • storydivamg says:

      Thank you, Dolly! And welcome to Being MG. I’m thrilled to have a fresh reader come along and get this. It is a stand alone story but also part of a larger collection, which many of my regular readers have been absorbing for a while. I knew while writing it that fresh readers would have a different experience in reading it than my long-time followers. Your comments make me feel as though I have done the job well.

      All my best,
      Marie Gail

  2. Anyone with the name of Schrecklish probably can hand him all the rope he need.. manipulative beast.

  3. Dear Marie Gail,

    Somehow I don’t think Morales is going to be happy about the desk job. Of course Lukke is counting on that, isn’t he?

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  4. elmowrites says:

    MG! How dare you write 11 extra words? I’ll be round with the finger-snappers immediately!
    I enjoyed the machinations here, clearly there’s always something beneath the surface with this guy, but I’m going to bet there’s something beneath that too! That’s the feeling this story gave.
    Turning to the length, whilst obviously I’m not serious in my outrage, I did feel this was a little stodgy; some bits came across as more exposition than we needed, eg “jetting off to take care of white collar crime on location rather than putting in the usual hours of research.”
    Maybe “always investigating on location now, instead of his previous commitment to research”, or something, would feel a bit lighter.
    But ultimately, it’s your story, you know what needs to stay in.

    • storydivamg says:

      Thanks so much for the careful read and comments, Jennifer. They are appreciated.

      As to “stodgy,” I’m going to take that as a compliment because “stodgy” is exactly the way I would describe Lukke (although I wouldn’t have thought to use that word until you referenced it). Actually, my wife and I had an interesting discussion about the tone used here–she liked it better than I did this time–and came to the conclusion that using Lukke’s POV required use of a few cliches. If I rewrite, I may do so in first person just to pull Lukke’s voice out more clearly from my own.

      I love that you caught the layers of intrigue. Yes, there is far more going on than Lukke knows. Methinks he might need to be worried.

      All my best,
      Marie Gail

  5. rgayer55 says:

    Excellent piece. I read it two or three times to make sure I soaked up as much of what was going on as possible. Love the possibilities.

    • storydivamg says:

      Thanks so much, Russell. I felt good about this one. It’s a part of a series of connected stories, but this one felt really good on its own. I almost envy those coming to it without the full story in mind. It leaves the story more open to interpretation that way–the way it is intended as a flash.

      All my best,
      Marie Gail

  6. First I’ve read. Some great names there. What happens next?

    (Should agency have a capital A. Gives it more gravitas.)

    • storydivamg says:

      Patrick,
      Actually, that should be “bureau” instead of “agency.” I keep making that mistake with these. I’m not sure gravitas is a good enough reason to capitalize an improper noun, but we shall see. 😉 Thanks for popping in and commenting today.

      Cheers!
      MG

  7. Chris says:

    Haha clever. It felt like there was so much going on. 🙂

  8. K.Z. says:

    haha i agree with Björn.. that name! how evil…i’m almost embarrassed to say that i enjoyed every bit of it 🙂

    • storydivamg says:

      I’m tickled that people have caught onto that name. Just for fun,Google “Lauren Schrecklich.” I’ve managed to get top billing. 🙂 Working to keep it that way.

      Cheers!
      Marie Gail

  9. Marie Gail, This episode seemed to threaten future intrigue. It’ll be interesting to seem what develops from the changes. Well written as always. 🙂 —Susan

  10. Horus says:

    So the story continues and best of luck to Moralles 🙂

  11. Wonderful mystery Marie Gail. The title is brilliant the quick flow of the story really makes for a good read. Nice job!

  12. It feels like it’s a 250 words story, there is so much going on here. Loved it!

  13. […] Washington, two men, both superiors, were expecting different outcomes from Lauren’s journey west. Senior Agent […]

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