Rapunzel’s Natural Hair Supply


Welcome to Friday Fictioneers for April 3 (We start on Wednesday each week, but there is still plenty of time for you to play along.). Our hostess, Rochelle, corals around 100 writers from around the globe as we respond to the weekly photo prompt with 100-word stories.

This week’s photo is provided by Lauren Moscato.

My story this week weighs in at 94 words.

2015 04 03 Lauren Moscato

Copyright Lauren Moscato

Rapunzel’s Natural Hair Supply

“There it is.” Madison’s mom pointed at the sign on an aging two-story building and pulled into the drive. “Go in and ring the bell, Madison.”

Madison did as she was told. An ancient woman hobbled into the room. She came around the desk and ran arthritic fingers through the girl’s curls. “This will do just fine.”

Frightened, Madison turned to leave. Through the window she saw her mom’s pickup pulling away.

“You’ll be staying with me, dearie.” The old woman took the girl by the hand and led her to an upstairs bedroom.

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56 thoughts on “Rapunzel’s Natural Hair Supply

  1. Dear Marie Gail,

    Now there’s a new twist on an old favorite. 😉 May the pransom hince come in his new pickem up truck to rescue her soon. Clever and imaginative take.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  2. ansumani says:

    hmmm… never thought of Rapunzel…Nice one.

    • storydivamg says:

      I must admit to being glad you didn’t think of this tale on seeing the photo. Rapunzel caught my attention as soon as I saw that door hanging in mid air, and her lustrous locks do have a bit of a strangle-hold on my imagination at the moment. So . . . I’m happy to hear that my first thought wasn’t the same as everyone else’s.

      All my best,
      Marie Gail

  3. paulmclem says:

    Fascinating and creepy perspective. Good one. My only crit would be describing the woman as ‘ancient’. Feels a bit loose and generic. Perhaps you could describe her more i.e. wrinkled, wizened, white hair…that sort of thing.

  4. Betrayed by her own mother! The witch.

  5. k rawson says:

    Rapunzel! Very clever take on the prompt.

  6. This is what you get for cursing in the car… (Is Matty short for Madison?) No McDonald’s for you, my pretty.

    • storydivamg says:

      It seems a rather steep punishment, doesn’t it? In one version or other of this, I had a few more details on the “why” of the exchange . . . but the limits of a 100-word (or less) story make for some fun mysteries that the readers get to solve. I always enjoy reading what you folks bring to these tales. Thanks for coming along for this particularly bumpy pickup ride.

      All my best,
      Marie Gail

  7. Fairy tales are so much scarier with real people in them.

    • storydivamg says:

      They are, aren’t they? I think sometimes we can get rather far removed from the true horror of fairytales simply because they are set in lands and times so distant from us. A fresh setting–especially if it happens to be a familiar one–often brings a new perspective.

      Thanks for joining me on this rather disturbing journey.

      All my best,
      Marie Gail

  8. This was just plain creepy. You lost me when the old witch took her to the bedroom.

  9. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Marie Gail – Awesome and I hope the pransom hince comes soon! Nan 🙂

  10. Sandra says:

    That was totally horrific. Good job I didn’t read that last night before I went to bed… Highly original, really well done.

  11. micklively says:

    Fascinating and horrible in equal measure: well done.

  12. draliman says:

    A chilling tale. I can only imagine what poor Madison was thinking as she watched her mum drive off.

  13. rgayer55 says:

    Ha! Loved it MG. I considered tackling the Rapunzel route, but calling her Repulsive instead with Handsome Dense as the male lead. Glad I couldn’t make it work. Yours is much better.

    • storydivamg says:

      Thanks so much, Russell. I had some fun weaving this tale of horror. Maybe later we can revisit it and have that Handsome Dense pull up in a Ford Pinto and carry Madison away to the nearest service station, where, of course, they will be unable to get the Pinto started again, the old woman’s henchman will catch up with them, and the HD will have to prove what he’s made of.

      All my best,
      MG

  14. gahlearner says:

    That mother is no loss. Poor Madi-punzel… great take on the prompt.

    • storydivamg says:

      Maybe someone needs to tell mom’s side of the story too. Although, I have a sneaking suspicion she isn’t worth whatever the old woman is paying her for poor Maddy.

      Cheers!
      MG

  15. it is a creepy version of the Rapunzel story.
    Randy

    • storydivamg says:

      I’ll take that as a compliment, Randy. Frankly, this is one fairytale that has a pretty high creep factor even before I get my mitts on it.

      All my best,
      MG

  16. Creatopath says:

    That was freaky! Poor Madison. I didn’t think of Rapunzel either when I saw the picture but when I saw your title I thought, “perfect idea.”

  17. Dave says:

    Someone has to supply hair for those Weaves.

  18. Dale says:

    Nice mother, she has…

  19. ah, the moment I saw your title, I thought “why didn’t i think of rapunzel?!?” I am wondering what the old lady had on the mom….could this be a Rumplestilskin type of thing?

    • storydivamg says:

      People keep saying that, Samantha, so I’m glad I actually did think of her. Besides, it was high time for a good creep out on this blog.

      All my best,
      Marie Gail

  20. Francesca Smith says:

    A very clever take on a classic, and what a wonderful mother she has…

  21. Love the merging of fairy tale, modern fear factor and a clever use of the prompt, MG. Very well done.

  22. Margaret says:

    Great idea. I love the old woman’s voice, and I think your title’s terrific. Wonderful story.

  23. Now that’s scary! Sold to a witch for her hair to serve as a ladder. Great new slant on Rapunzel.

  24. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Marie Gail,

    Every girl wants to be Cinderella but never Rapunzel. Great take on the prompt. I wonder what her mom made on the transaction.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • storydivamg says:

      Or what that old woman is holding over the mother. The question appears to be–is the mother a worthless piece of $H!T or is someone pulling a Rumplestiltskin on her . . . Or is there a crack dealer involved? (Oh dear, I don’t have time for another series–would you like to take this one on? 😉 )

      All my best,
      MG

  25. Dearie…I like that word. I could almost hear old woman’s evil snickering. I loved it.

  26. Mom must have been under a spell. Now we need the handsome prince to whisk her off on his motor bike. Good update of the classic tale, Marie Gail. 🙂 — Suzanne

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