Mobile Home


This is my response to the Friday Fictioneers prompt for November 7. The challenge is to write a 100-word story inspired by the photo prompt. Play along by writing your own, reading others and/or commenting on the flashes we fictioneers create. The photo prompt this week comes from Jean L. Hays. My piece this week weighs in at exactly 100 words.

2014 11 07

Copyright Jean L. Hays

Mobile Home

“I just want to go home.” Bobby began to cry. At first, living in the car had been an adventure. He’d even gotten to eat McDonald’s fries two days in a row. Today, there hadn’t been anything to eat, and the car was cold. He held up his stuffed monkey. “Jazz wants to go home too.”

Mommy tucked a blanket around Bobby. “This is home now. Let’s be thankful for what we have.” He saw a tear slide down her cheek.

“We still have each other, right, Mommy?” The boy wrapped his arms around her neck and held her tight.

Advertisements

54 thoughts on “Mobile Home

  1. Sandra says:

    Hard times ahead, I fear. I felt for the poor boy.

  2. So sad, and a reality for too many, I’m afraid.

    • storydivamg says:

      Far too many, David. One of my dear friends, Father Matthew Ruhl, worked with Catholic Charities to raise funds to put a dent in poverty in the U.S., and he is now working toward the same end in Belize. Sadly, my state reelected a governor last night who seems bent on making things worse for people like the little boy in my story.

      Thanks for reading. Keep the faith!

      Marie Gail

      • I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what effects this election has. Hopefully they’ll be positive, but I’m not overly optimistic.

        • storydivamg says:

          Me neither, but the truth is that here in Kansas nothing really changed. And the close nature of all the important races indicates that people aren’t exceptionally happy with the way things are. I hope (although I’m uncertain) that means the powers that be will begin thinking more circumspectly before acting. I’m guessing that the next 2 years will be one of many petition-signings and calls to my legislators for me.

  3. Oh, really sad. And a moment really well caught and described.
    Claire

    • storydivamg says:

      Thanks, Claire. Life is so much better for me these days than it was nearly 3 years ago when we lost our home. Fortunately, I did not have a young child, and we never had to spend a night on the street. However, the experience certainly opened up my eyes even farther to the plight of those who, through no fault of their own, end up in these situations.

      All my best,
      Marie Gail

  4. So sad.. and alas too true.. and there are even worse living conditions out there…

  5. I feel you MG. I am so deflated by the election results I could barely write anything today. It’s maddening and your story helps drive that home.

  6. And here in the UK too poverty and homelessness get worse. And the politicians thrash around like crazy and make empty promises to get re-elected

    • storydivamg says:

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Patrick. Over coffee with a new friend this morning, I was reminded that the awareness is often the “good thing” that comes when all seems to be going south. Let’s keep raising it!

      All my best,
      Marie Gail

  7. Heart wrenching. Great writing.

  8. Good story – in its own said way. Well told in a few words.

  9. Ellespeth says:

    To ‘have each other’ is usually more important than anything else. I like the way the positive mood moves from one to the other.
    Ellespeth

  10. Very sweet, touching story. Well done!

    • storydivamg says:

      Thanks, Perry. I need to attempt humor soon to keep readers from overwhelming local psychiatrists in the next few weeks, but I seem to do a bit better at the sad tales.

      All my best,
      Marie Gail

  11. Dear Marie Gail,

    A bittersweet story. Too real for comfort. Good use of the prompt.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    • storydivamg says:

      Want to get comfortable? Time to read someone else’s blog. Just kidding (sort of). Thanks so much for the compliment. Sometimes it is good to get a little uncomfortable, otherwise we wouldn’t reach our full potentials.

      Peace,
      Marie Gail

  12. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Marie,

    That’s one of the better things about living in Hawaii. The car doesn’t get as cold as it does in the midwest. A heart wrenching story, well told.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • storydivamg says:

      There are climates that would make living in a car a bit more convenient, but that life isn’t one most people would choose. Thanks so much for reading. I’m glad you liked it.

      All my best,
      Marie Gail

  13. babso2you says:

    Sad, but true for so many! How about a new writing challenge? Please visit Mondays Finish the Story and check it out! ^..^

    • storydivamg says:

      Thanks for popping in and reading. I checked out your page the last time you mentioned the challenge. Things are pretty busy for me these days as I actively launch my web content writing business, but I’ll keep it in mind.

      All my best,
      Marie Gail

  14. Very touching and well written, it is a sad reality for too many families all over the world.

  15. Great true and sad story of our times.
    Then the locals pass laws that they can’t sleep even in their cars – or parks, or under bridges.
    Sweep them away. Make them disappear.
    Until the locals start to lose their jobs and homes. But by then it’s too late for them

    Randy

  16. Marie Gail, this is really beautiful, so touching. You did it so simply, without melodrama or over telling the story. Just perfect.

  17. wildbilbo says:

    Ouch, right in the feels. Well written.
    KT

  18. Mike says:

    Oh … this short story is POWERFUL.

  19. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Marie Gail, I love the “Mobile Home” angle – so clever and well done! This is such a sweet story! Nan 🙂

    • storydivamg says:

      I owe my “editors” a thanks for the title this week, Nan. I came up with it but only by inspiration after the first version, with a much worse working title, fell flat.

      All my best,
      Marie Gail

  20. MrBinks says:

    Nicely captured.

  21. Margaret says:

    A tragic situation. You’ve shown the tragedy well through Bobby’s eyes.

  22. From the mouths of babes…. Deeply heart wrenching. (And, excellent play with the words on the title.)

  23. Marie Gail, It’s a horrible fact that the poor and homeless have become nearyly invisible in wealthy western countries and that this story is so realistic these days. Well written as usual. — Susan

  24. rgayer55 says:

    I met a couple a few years ago who were living in an old station wagon on the bank of the river. They had a toddler who was just learning to walk. Neither Mom or Dad seemed too bright. I worried that the child might wander off into the river and drown. I hadn’t thought of them in a long time until I read this story. Nicely written, Marie Gail.

    • storydivamg says:

      Thanks for commenting, Russell. I’m glad the story resonated with you. I remember hearing a story on NPR about a mother who was living in a car in Washington, D.C. with two young boys. It’s a sad reality for sure.

      Marie Gail

Comments, compliments and constructive criticism are always welcome.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s